Why You Will Never Become A Man

Posted on August 22, 2012

How long will it take you to become a Man?

And I’m not just talking about an adult male here. I mean that strong, powerful, authentic, courageous Man that you’ve always dreamed of being.

A month? A year?

Maybe 10 years?

Well, I’m sorry to be the one to disappoint you, but if you’re giving yourself even a week, you may as well be giving yourself 100 years because you’ll never become a Man.


Because if you’re giving yourself any amount of time before you become the authentic, committed, courageous Man that you know you can be, then somewhere in your mind, you have to be thinking that there’s something you need to collect / achieve / do before you become a Man.

That there’s some arbitrary set of goals to achieve before you can bestow that title upon yourself.

But a Man isn’t defined by the number of objects he’s collected or the amount of activities he’s done. There’s no specific set of things he has to purchase, do, or achieve to become a Man.

A Man is defined by how he lives his life in this present moment and that can only happen in this present moment.

You can’t ‘become’ a Man. You are either being a Man or you are not being a Man.

You are either living your life with integrity, authenticity, dedication, independence, and courage, in this present moment or you are not.

You’re either pushing through challenges with determination and commitment, or you are not.

You’re either deeply aware of where you’re going and what you believe to be true in your heart in this present moment, or you are not.

There’s nowhere to go, nothing to achieve, nothing to collect, nothing to create to become the kind of Man that women naturally adore.

There is only: how you’re choosing to live your life in this present moment.

Look around you. Look at the walls that surround you, the desk you’re sitting at, the clothes you’re wearing, look at everything that exists in this very moment and ask yourself:

How am I going to live my life in this very moment?

And then once this very moment is done, ask yourself again:

How am I going to live my life in this very moment?

And then once you’ve finished with this easy moment, when there are no challenges to face and no hurdles to overcome and you’re finally standing toe-to-toe with the tough decisions you usually run from, where you have to put your morals, beliefs, and courage to the test, ask yourself:

How am I going to live my life in this very moment?

And not ‘How do I want to’ but the very real, present moment, committed version:

‘How WILL I live my life in this present moment?’

Because if you’re reading this, and you’re wondering why women aren’t drawn to you, and why sometimes things feel so challenging it hurts, and why sometimes you feel so alone that you want to cry, it’s because you’ve been making a different decision in the present moment.

You’ve been choosing, to be weak, you’re choosing to be needy, you’re choosing to be dependent, and you’re choosing to be clingy, in this present moment.

You’ve been choosing to run from your barriers, you’ve been choosing to hide from challenges, in this present moment.

You’ve been choosing to live someone else’s version of the ideal life rather than passionately pursuing your dreams, in this present moment.

There is no such thing as ‘becoming’ a Man because there’s nothing to ‘become’. There is either being a Man or not being a Man.

And whether or not you’re being a Man is determined by the decision of how you will live your life in the ever evolving present moment.

It’s not a level or endpoint defined by the amount of garbage you can collect or the notches on your belt. Being a Man is a way of life.

This is why your journey will never be done. This is why you’ll never be finished.

Because you will never have enough cars or slept with enough women or have enough money in your bank account to become a Man, and you will never be able to relax knowing that now, everything is complete.

You will have to make the decision, the tough decision, in every present moment for the rest of your life.

You can choose to live your life with integrity, honour, and courage, and be the kind of Man you know you can be for 30 years, and then you can decide to be dependent and needy and all of a sudden, you’re back at square one again.

There is no end point because the only time your present moment will ever finish is when you’re dead and buried.

So, as you move forward for the rest of the day, I want you to ask yourself one question:

How am I going to live my life in this present moment?

Become consciously aware, in the present moment, of what you’re doing and how you’re choosing to live your life.

When you see all the moments where you choose weakness, fear, and dependence, make a new choice.

Choose strength. Choose authenticity. Choose courage. Choose to take responsibility for your life. Choose to become the Man of your dreams.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

And then, when that moment is over, make that decision again.

Because that is the ONLY way to EVER become the Man of your dreams.



P.S. If you can think of one other guy who you think would benefit from reading this like it, share it, +1 it or Tweet it and help the world become a better place.


Originally posted on The Attraction Institute here.

2 Replies to "Why You Will Never Become A Man"

  • Paul
    October 9, 2014 (7:07 pm)

    Hey man,

    Just finished reading sed-com sucks and endgame for the second time and this article really rounds them off nicely!

    I was wondering how this process of self responsibility works for women. For example, I have met girls who value emotional and psychological independence and actively cultivate these qualities in themselves. Would you say that they are not following the feminine gender role when they do this or is it only when in relationship with a man that women like to source their certainty outwith themselves?

    Couldn’t quite get me head around this one.


    • Me
      November 23, 2014 (10:27 am)

      Awesome mate. Glad you liked it.

Got something to say?

Some html is OK

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.