When it all comes to an end
Posted on November 23, 2013
It’s funny… Regardless of what you’re doing or where you’re doing it, ending something big always feels the same.
It doesn’t matter if you’re breaking up with a girlfriend or shutting down your company, it always has the same flavour.
There’s an emptyness, a fear, a finality, a heavyness that always comes with it, along with the question:
Was this the right thing to do?
Today, I finished something big: The Attraction Institute.
It’s been the major focus of my life for the last 7 years and today, I shut it down.
Not because it wasn’t working and it wasn’t helping anyone. That would have been an easy decision. I shut it down because my heart was no longer behind it.
When I first started AI, it was my passion.
It was the last thing I thought about before I went to be and the first thing I thought about when I got up in the morning.
I talked about it with everyone I knew and thought about it when there was no-one to talk to about it.
But now, the passion is gone.
There’s no more drive. There’s no more desire.
In fact, when I think about updating it, it hurts my brain.
So today, I finished it.
I wrote a big article outlining exactly what was happening, why it was happening, and when it was happening.
And now I have that ‘finished’ feeling.
That kind of feeling that makes you want to sit in a hammock on the back verandah and stare at the night sky wondering what’s going to fill that massive hole in your life.
It’s so strange to have that gaping hole now…
I’m not sure what I’m going to fill it with. I have a few ideas, but they’re just ideas. Nothing is concrete or actionable just yet.
For now, I’m going to do what I always do in times like this: run a bath, sit and soak, and contemplate the universe.