It was never about coaching…

Posted on December 12, 2013

One of the things I’ve been wrestling with since I decided to shut down AI was why I lost interest in it.

It’s not like the content, crew, or circumstances changed that much over the last few months but there was something inside me that just kept saying “This isn’t for you any more…”

I’ve thrown around plenty of ideas of possible reasons why it could have happened. One was running out of things to say and share. One was there not being enough meaning in it. One was that I just got over coaching and it was time to move on.

But as I was sitting on a group call with a bunch of excellent Men’s coaches from around the world, something interesting occurred to me.

I was watching these guys and listening to them talk and there was something very clear about them – they were passionate about what they were doing. Every single one of them was passionately driven to be a coach and be a great coach. They wanted to affect a large change in a lot of peoples lives.

I was chatting about this with my fiancee over lunch and she pointed out something that I hadn’t considered before. She said “You’ve never been like that. Even at the start. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about how much you wanted to be a coach. There were plenty of other things you were passionate about, but coaching wasn’t one of them.”

This was something I’d never considered before. And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

When I first started this journey, it was never about becoming a great coach, it was always about finding a solution. It was trying to work something out that seemed totally foreign and totally out of the realm of possibility. It was always about finding the answers, never about ‘being a great coach’.

And even when it was about coaching, it was working out how to coach. It wasn’t about ‘how much change can I affect in this guys life’, it was always ‘how can I make this coaching thing work?’

After that, it was about learning website design and development. Then it was learning about outsourcing. Then it was learning about conversion rate optimisation and online marketing.

It’s always been about figuring out complex problems and finding the simple solution.

Now that I think about this, it makes so much sense.

Everything I’ve done has been about finding a solution to a problem. Everything. It’s been about working out how to solve something that seems complex and tricky in a simple and practical way.

And that’s why coaching doesn’t grab me like it used to. I feel like I’ve worked out personal development. I understand how people work, can see the problems and barriers they’re facing without very much effort at all, and know what the solution is before they’ve finished explaining what they’re going through.

There’s no challenge left in it. There’s nothing left to work out.

So this is what I need to find now. I need to find a complex challenge that doesn’t have an effective answer, that I can sink my teeth into.

Wow. Big realisation.

What’s bigger than working out how people work? I kind of feel like that’s it. If you can understand how people work, then you can understand why they do the things they do, and see the simple solutions to fix it.

This is going to be a tough one to beat. Hmmm…

Back to the drawing board.

3 Replies to "It was never about coaching..."

  • Marian Loeber
    December 15, 2013 (10:07 am)

    Deep insight there.
    What about trying to understand how groups of people act? In societies maybe. You could change a lot with that. Anyway, best wishes! You already triggered such a huge change in so many people’s lifes that it’s gonna multiply to heaps of happiness in the world. So keep going

  • Josef Jara
    December 21, 2013 (6:10 am)

    I dont get you yet, of course, I understand you almost all. The thing that you gives to us, is become to much free in all the ways, and if the guy have a minimum of compasion for the humanity will like to help other guys and persons to find them the real thing that they are searching. Is in any or other way, logic that more than the half of the guys of AI will become Life Coachs. I understand you almost always, since 4 years I have the absolute natural ways that you knodlge give me, but now, i dont understand you. You create with your work, thousands and thousands of genuines wanna be coachs of life, but, you´re no a genuine coach. Damn it, man, that so deep to understand. I send you a big Huge my australian friend hahaha 😀

  • Mario
    December 24, 2013 (4:01 pm)

    I would call you a truth seeker. I realised in the last years that it was for me at no given point in just about woman I couldnt get into my zone. It was all the time more about getting myself into that “zone” and finding my strength wihtin.

    So, if you truly want to find a new complex as fuck problem to solve why dont you go a step further with your couchingskills and knowledge about people and for example try to speak at huge events on stage, in television or at “”, so more and more people get to feel and see the beauty of the light that shines trough you. Humankind has to awoke Logun, slowly but surley eitherway we are doomed. I think you and anybody else that is even in the abstract of all forms able to pursue this goal is responsible for humankind, me included. We are all conected.
    I mean you have developed a really powerfull gift that you could start sharing with everybody on a completly new level, a complex level 😉

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