When does the journey end?
Posted on March 5, 2015
Without a doubt, the most common question I get when I start working with a new client is: “When will this all be over? When will my journey end?”
And it’s a good question! The fact that we’re sitting together and discussing their life means that there’s something very not right they want to fix.
It’s only natural to worry about when it’ll be done.
The unfortunate part of the question is not the question itself, but the answer:
“Never. Your journey will never be over. You will never be done.”
The look of shock I usually receive is enough to tell me this comes as a surprise to most people so let me answer the question before you ask it: You will never be done.
Sure, we can work together and deal with the specific challenge you’re facing right now and you can skip happily into the setting sun feeling like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders, but that doesn’t mean your journey is over.
I can guarantee you, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, that within less than a few months after you’ve hung your hat on the stand and put your feet in the air, that another challenge will appear.
The journey is never over.
Why? Because that’s the desire works. Once one desire is fulfilled, the desire below it in the list of experiences you want in your life jumps to the surface.
Lets say the desire you reach out initially to deal with is a lack of power in your life.
You feel powerless, you feel weak, you feel like you have no control over your life, and you want to fix it.
We sit together and talk. We find your core barriers, your ineffective Scripts, new Scripts that will replace your old and ineffective ones and help you feel like a Man, and we work to make those part of your life.
You feel strong, you feel powerful, you put your proverbial feet in the proverbial air and relax into your new found feelings of control.
But as you relax, you notice another desire appear in your world. It might have been there before, it might not. You couldn’t tell because your desire to feel a sense of power and control was overshadowing everything but now that’s dealt with, something else has taken it’s place.
A desire to connect.
There’s a longing, a drawing, a pull towards others and a pull inwards to yourself.
You feel strong and powerful but that power and strength feels isolating.
So you call me and we start to work again – this time on connecting.
And work we do: exercise after exercise after exercise. Open, share, express, open, share, express, open, share, express. Step into your fear and surrender to your desire.
You give into the process and you start to connect on levels you never thought were possible. You start to make deeper and more profound connections with people you’ve just met than they have with anyone else in their life.
People start to say crazy things like “Have we met before? You seem so familiar…” or “I feel like I can just talk to you about anything…”
This is great. This is what you wanted. This is the landfill for the hole in your heart.
Once again, you hang your proverbial hat and and rest your proverbial feet thinking that you’ve complete again.
But you’re not.
As you relax, you start to notice a new desire. Once again, you’re not sure if this desire has lain dormant inside you, smothered, like a youngest child in a pillow fight, or if it’s brand new, but it’s there.
This time it’s: Excitement.
You feel powerful, you feel connected, but the power and connection all feels stagnant and repetitive. Your life lacks spice. It’s lacks flair. It’s lacks engagement.
So you call me again “I have something to work on…”
And work we do, but this time, not in the way you think . We talk and analyse and work and your life starts to get exciting. But as you start to explore the world of excitement, you notice that excitement has lost it’s luster for you.
Why? Because as you’ve been walking down this path of excitement, the very foundations that allowed the desire for excitement to climb out from under the covers and appear in your world start to close back over the top.
You see, as you’re working on excitement, you stop focussing on power and connection. And because you’ve stopped focussing on power and connection, you’re not in a place where excitement is the #1 priority any more.
So we get back to the foundations – power first, then connection, and setting systems so they stay in place as you pursue other desires. And THEN we work on excitement.
Surely that’s it, isn’t it? Now you’ve got power and connection and excitement, surely the journey is over…
No, sorry. Because all this power and connection and excitement is great, but it’s not enough. It’s not making a difference. It’s not contributing to the world. It’s not giving back from the amazing adventure you’re living and using it to help others grow through the same path as you’ve walked.
So you get back on the phone: “I’ve got something I’d like to work on…”
We work and we plan and we execute and we create and everything goes amazingly until your life feels flat again. You solve that by learning to balance excitement through fulfilment.
And then you feel powerless again. You solve that by learning to balance power through fulfilment.
And then you feel disconnected again. You solve that by learning to balance connection through fulfilment.
And then you start the one journey that never ends – learning to listen to the desires of your body in every moment and fulfil them through actions you need to take to create the life you want.
It never stops. It never ends. It goes on in every moment of every day for the rest of your life.
“But I don’t want to work at this for the rest of my life!!!!”
I’m sure you don’t. And you won’t have to – not because you won’t have to do something about it, but because it won’t feel like work.
Think of it like this:
You wake up in the morning and you’re starving hungry. You look to your bedside table and there’s a sandwich sitting right in front of you.
Would it feel like work to eat it?
Would you feel the stress and pressure of having to pull your arm out from under the covers to pick it up?
Would you feel the strain and anxiety associated with having to chew?
No, of course you would. It’d be easy, beautiful, and simple.
This is what you’ll get out of this journey as well.
At the moment, you’re resistant to the idea of a never ending journey because at the moment, your journey feels like hard work. You don’t know how to stop the problem let alone come up with a solution and implement it.
It feels like a lot of effort with little return.
But it doesn’t have to feel like that, and once you get further down your journey, it won’t.
You can reach a place where feeling powerful and strong is a simple as noticing when something’s slightly off and running through a 5 minute process to put you back on track.
You can reach a place where feeling connected and one with others is as simple as reaching out, opening up, and dropping deep.
You can reach a place where excitement is simple by-product of the way you life your life and fulfilment is as near as a quick email or a short conversation.
So throw your limited ideas of what your future is going to be like out the window and get excited for what is possible.
Yes, your journey will never be over, but that simple fact means it’s possible for you to taste the full range of human experience and have everything you want in every moment.
Sounds alright to me 🙂