A fork in the road

Posted on November 25, 2013

I case you haven’t kept up with the news, I’ve just officially closed down The Attraction Institute.

It’s been the major focus of my life for the last  7 years, but at this point in my life, it’s just not what I’m looking for anymore.

(You can read all the reasons in this post)

Whilst this might seem like a shame to a lot of people, it’s also given me something I haven’t had in a long time: Brain space.

You see, it’s taken me 32 years to become very comfortable with and very aware of the fact that I can do one thing well or two thing poorly.

I can cook dinner or have a conversation.

I can work out or think about work.

One thing well, two things poorly.

Running AI was my one thing, meaning I didn’t have the mental room to think about anything else I wanted to do.

And now I do.

But this leads on to a new problem: I now have TWO things I want to do and in my head, there’s no way to separate them.

This is why I need your help.

Have a read through the two projects below and tell me which one you’d like to see more. The one with more votes will be the next project I start and the next one I bring to life.

 

Project 1: Men’s Coaching Website

One thing that’s become more than apparent over the years is that the level of coaching available for guys who want real help is incredibly low.

There are so many so called coaches selling their services who have very little idea of what the real issues are and even less of an idea of how to fix a problem when they stumble upon it.

This isn’t their fault though. I’ve been through life coaching training and dating and relationship coach training and both of them were incredibly poor.

(One course even tried to teach me 6 ways to show that I was listening when I wasn’t)

I’m now part of a group of Men’s Coaches and it’s clear that even in this group, there are a lot of guys who aren’t sure how to provide real solutions to real problems.

Because of this, I want to start a website that teaches guys how to be Men’s Coaches. My experience with coaching guys, coaching guys who want to be coaches, and going through other coaching programs, has helped me understand what’s needed and how to structure the coaching programs.

The website would include articles and podcasts but would focus mostly on delivering high end training programs to guys who want to make a difference to the world.

 

Project 2: Men’s Personal Development

With over 650 articles written over 7 years about Men’s dating and relationships for AI, I feel like I’ve said everything I could possibly say on the topic.

But that doesn’t mean there I don’t have more to say about Men’s personal development in general.

The same problems are still faced by a HUGE amount of guys and I believe I have the knowledge and skills that can help them overcome their barriers.

This new project would have a similar angle to The Attraction Institute, but would focus on a much wider range of topics – including dating and relationships, but also work, friendships, skills, conflict resolution, anger management, general lifestyle tips, discussions of relevant news topics and current events, and anything else that was relevant to Men’s personal development.

It would include articles, discussion forums, podcasts, video’s, and interactive webinars.

 

So, what do you want to see more?

They’re the two projects that I’m keen to start, but haven’t been able to draw a line between. Which one would you be more interested in seeing? And what is it about it that makes it more appealing to you?

Let me know in the comments below and whichever one is more popular will be the first to get launched.

 

 

Leigh


44 Replies to "A fork in the road"

  • mike
    November 25, 2013 (5:59 am)
    Reply

    1! Properly addressing how to be a man solves alot of the problems you laid out in option 2 but there isn’t a lot out there for people that want to help coach others without coming across as some sort of romance guru.

    • Me
      November 25, 2013 (6:06 am)
      Reply

      Awesome. Thanks for the feedback.

  • Zach
    November 25, 2013 (6:49 am)
    Reply

    Project 1

  • Yallah
    November 25, 2013 (6:54 am)
    Reply

    How to better utilize our free time to become more productive at whatever we do, instead of playing with mobile phone games…

    • Me
      November 25, 2013 (7:41 am)
      Reply

      I don’t get it. Which direction sounds better to you?

      • Yallah
        November 25, 2013 (8:25 am)
        Reply

        whatever direction that better help people to be more discipline at utilizing their free times to be more productive.. Because, regardless of the direction, if men can’t help but to allow themselves to be distracted and waste their time with games, internet and doing nothing, nothing will change…

      • Yallah
        November 25, 2013 (8:30 am)
        Reply

        And, I think that improving one’s EQ is the most important things men can gain. We all have plenty of IQs, or at least we think we all do, but most of us don’t have above average EQs. Therefore, we only have average lives. Having above average EQs will get us above average quality of lives — to be able to work with people, connect with people means we will make more $$$, have better connections and more success in life.

  • Nae
    November 25, 2013 (7:56 am)
    Reply

    Hey, coaching coaches looks really nice and would be something new… But first the coaches must be “enough evolved” as men; So i recommend focus on Men’s Personal Development, but in a COMMUNITY way; Giving challenges every month, weekly skype conferences, meetings, accountability group, etc… To make it more alive…. on a monthly membership fee… What do you think?

    • Me
      November 25, 2013 (8:05 am)
      Reply

      Hey, that’s not a bad idea mate. We could definitely do something like that.

      The coaching programs I have in mind for the coach coaching would be VERY focussed on the personal development of the coach so it would help with that.

      Hmm… Something to think about.

  • zar
    November 25, 2013 (8:24 am)
    Reply

    Project 1. I agree with Nae that it’s best done in a community way, help men find coaches in addition to training them. Also, while many of the best may have gone through training programs, do we want to limit it to that? In the right framework, many men may be able to help each other as they learn to coach?

    A lot of material on AI (and in your books) is about personal development in general. That being said, if you come up with a new twist on the matter, you can always publish the article on the Men’s Coaching website. We’re coaching people to help with their personal development, right? It’s all related ^_^.

  • Bas
    November 25, 2013 (9:13 am)
    Reply

    Hey man,

    Option 1 would definitely suit my interest most!

    I have been thinking of doing some coaching of my own but haven’t had any clues on how and where to start. And I think it might be very interesting to not only see information on how to be an awesome men coach, but also on stuff like how to run your coaching business, how to find clients, getting your name out there and building your community much like you did with AI. Call it meta-coaching if you will (if men’s coach coach isn’t already quite meta enough :p ).

    I don’t know if you are familiar with some of the guys related to the site paidtoexist.com , but they also give info on how to make a living of your passion. For me it would be amazing to see your option 1 website integrate this kind of information (specific for coaching) as well!

    Good luck with the new project!

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (12:41 am)
      Reply

      Thanks for the feedback mate. I think a lot of guys genuinely want to coach and help others but don’t know where to start. That was my issue when I first started as well. I think it’ll be very useful for a lot of guys.

      I am familiar with the PaidToExist guys. I’m mates with Mike who runs the interviews. He’s a good Man. If I end up going down the coach coaching path, I’ll definitely be in contact with them .

  • Cockblock
    November 25, 2013 (9:28 am)
    Reply

    Hey Leigh,
    first of all I wanted to thank you for the difference you’ve made with AI, I think without it I wouldn’t be in the happy relationship that I am for 21 months now.
    Regarding your decision: Don’t you think it is a bit ironic and contrary to the believes you set out in AI to ask others what to do with your life? Getting input is always fine and sometimes neccessary to solve dilemmata in your mind (been there A LOT) but making you life decisions subject to a community vote is a bit off if you ask me.
    Now really regarding your decision: I personally would love to see more “mature” articles about man’s development, because I myself have overcome the initial problems of “how do I start banging as many chicks as possible?” and would like to read your take on carrer/life balance, time management, mental limitations in general etc.
    But I think that would be the wrong decision for you. I think it might go down the same road as AI (but then again maybe all things do) and eventually become dull and repetitive. In the end it’s the same thing and you too will become too good at it, so that it no longer challenges you.
    As I said: Maybe all things pass. Every challenge eventually gets mastered and therefore boring. I would love to see you writing some more adult articles for some time until it gets boring and repetitive and then see you create a long term, sophisticated coach-coaching program that utilizes the ideas that you laid out before. But it’s up to you, mate 😉

  • Nae
    November 25, 2013 (9:42 am)
    Reply

    Also, it might change the frame from “Hello dear loser, here’s how you will change” to: “Hello dear member of winner’s club, here’s what we’re going to do this month…”

  • zippy
    November 25, 2013 (10:07 am)
    Reply

    Project 2.

    Like you say, there’s a huge number of guys who have issues and you’ve shown that you have tools and skills to help them. There’s a larger market for this project and many of the guys who grow with your help in this one might end up being perfect candidates for project 1 when it comes time to work on that.

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (12:43 am)
      Reply

      That’s a good point. Project 2 leads on to Project 1.

      But, in saying that, if Project 1 goes well then there’ll be heaps of guys to contribute to Project 2.

      It’s hard to say which one to focus on first…

  • Leo
    November 25, 2013 (10:25 am)
    Reply

    Project 3: Men & Women Dynamics.

    A greater focus on the female perspectives regarding relationships and life in general. Maybe have interviews with regular women or female coaches sharing their thoughts. Often times I felt like I’m at one “level” and she’s at a totally different one. It would be nice to identify exactly what’s going on there.

    PS: I think women deserve to have a similar type of training and coaching as well. Why focus only on the men? 🙂

    PPS: Your captcha sucks, like really bad. Maybe replace it with some other solution.

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (12:44 am)
      Reply

      This is something that would be very interesting but I feel like there are other people out there who’re already covering this one very well. If you’re interested in reading about male and female dynamics, you should check out David Deida. He’s the guy who’s going to blow your brain apart.

  • Jermaine
    November 25, 2013 (1:40 pm)
    Reply

    Lifestyle has been in my thoughts a lot lately. Its relationship to being an effective mentor, or coach. When I am dealing with my own shit, or feel blocked in someway, I have difficulty being able to listen fully. Option 1 appeals to me because of its focus on personal development as a foundation for learning the practice of coaching, mentoring, or leading men. I guess, if you think about it, both options are not too different. Each can serve the other. What if you open up the scope of option 1 to the aims of option 2 for the ultimate purpose of helping men help men by helping themselves?

  • juan esteban
    November 25, 2013 (2:52 pm)
    Reply

    I agree with the idea of the user: Nae, because better bring it all at once in a single project?…

    **And ask anything you are the best looking I told you , give me a huge frustration if I can not access the program be powerful , which I love but it is very expensive to buy with advice included now. I could buy the program be without power ful advice included ? ( because then I would be more economical ) . I expect an answer thanks my brother !

    My email is xxjio45@gmail.com

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (1:00 am)
      Reply

      Just sent you an email mate.

  • Jan
    November 25, 2013 (3:09 pm)
    Reply

    Here’s whats going through my mind.
    My problem isn’t that I lack information. There’s plenty out there. You’ve written hundreds of articles yourself. Going through programs helps you understand the information in a well structured way. But what makes the difference in the end is between knowing and doing. You can write book after book, create programs filled with articles, have phone call after phone call. But unless you get the guys to do something, nothing will change in their lives. That is at least what I struggled the most with. Actually taking action, and keeping up with it.

    Now, if I had to choose between the two, I reckon the first one would serve better, because people will be forced to take action and apply what they have learned, in order to pass it on to the next ones.

    Good luck brother.

    Jan

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (1:01 am)
      Reply

      Completely agree mate. And I think the first one will push guys more.

  • Spencer pua
    November 25, 2013 (4:15 pm)
    Reply

    Project 1: Men’s Coaching Website For ever!!!! i like you idea

    • Spencer pua
      November 25, 2013 (4:18 pm)
      Reply

      in the project one will use programs like get real and be powerful?

      • Me
        November 26, 2013 (1:02 am)
        Reply

        It’ll have a structured program but it’ll be very different to Get Real and Be Powerful. Instead of focussing on how to change your life, it’ll focus on how to help others change their lives. It’s a VERY different process.

  • Jason
    November 25, 2013 (5:20 pm)
    Reply

    Project 2 😀

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (1:03 am)
      Reply

      How come?

  • Anthony
    November 25, 2013 (5:20 pm)
    Reply

    Apoyo rotundamente el proyecto número dos. hay demaciada más gente en esta categoría. y las relaciones interpersonales son una de las cosas que más me gustan

  • Josef Jara
    November 25, 2013 (8:52 pm)
    Reply

    Hello Leigh! I saw that you close AI, the true is I will miss read the articles, but is ok, is your decisition, about what kind of work you will help more to guys how seek real solutions I think that the option 1 is the best, for all the guys how come from AI. Is what I believe. I send you a big huge my friend, and sucess in your new work.

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (1:03 am)
      Reply

      Thanks for the input mate.

  • Jonathan
    November 26, 2013 (2:37 am)
    Reply

    #2

    However, aren’t either of these essentially the same as AI? If I understood it correctly, wasn’t the purpose of AI to help guys live in alignment with themselves, from inside to out, with the dating/relationships aspect as a focus, but ultimately secondary to the first purpose? To rephrase what someone already pointed out, the only way to help guys be better coaches would be to help them live from inside to out in the way you would do with someone going through an AI program. I like the second idea because it allows more freedom. As I think you saw the many times, the risk of AI was that people adopted your ideas as more rules to follow. The more open-ended your programs, the less that risk exists.

  • santi
    November 26, 2013 (3:59 am)
    Reply

    proyect 2!! desde argentina

  • Drew
    November 26, 2013 (11:25 am)
    Reply

    Number 2

    You totally broke the mold on the mens dating world and advanced the conversation so far with AI. I’d love to see where you can take all those other topics.
    Since you’ve been so successful helping guys, and the need clearly still exists, have you thought about keeping the AI programs going somehow. Maybe they could be incorporated into the new project, or you could have people you trust carry on with that kind of coaching.
    PS. Do you think you’ll ever carry on with the meditation program or the Foreplay program you’ve talked about. Those both sound awesome.

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (8:12 pm)
      Reply

      Thanks for the kind words mate.

      There will still be programs of some kind going… Somewhere. I’m just not sure right now. I need to take a break from everything (including this site) and try and get my head around where I want to be heading next. AI has been such a major focus for so long, it’s hard to get my head around the fact that it doesn’t need to dominate my every waking thought.

      Those new programs will definitely make an appearance at some point. BulletProof is a LOT of fun. Andrew and I have been playing with tools and techniques we’re going to be using in it and have a great time with it. Foreplay will also blow peoples brains apart so I’ll have to make that as well.

      I’ll keep all this in mind going forward.

      Cheers,

  • Nexxon
    November 26, 2013 (3:10 pm)
    Reply

    Hey logun, I will miss you alot men!!!! Youre my hero, Im seriuos about that, And I want to Know:
    Will AI be closed? or somebody is going to keep going with AI?? I mean, if you leave us, who is going to help the other guys, the “guru” comunity?? NOO, who??

    • Me
      November 26, 2013 (8:13 pm)
      Reply

      No-one’s going to continue with AI brother. For now, it’s just going to sit there, hanging out. There’s more than enough information on that site for people who’re interested to work their way through. There’s over 650 articles, two books, about 10 podcasts, and quite a few videos.

  • Nexxon
    November 26, 2013 (3:18 pm)
    Reply

    Leigh, I want to buy endgame!! I read it before, but I want to pay for it, Its the correct thing to do.
    I would like to read the new cool addendums that leigh wrote, Im exited!! Where can I Buy it?

  • Andi
    December 1, 2013 (9:20 am)
    Reply

    Option 1, because I think it will have more impact to teach men to teach other men rather than teaching men directly 🙂

  • 2 Brand New Websites in Pre-Development Stages | Vision Systems
    December 3, 2013 (6:56 am)
    Reply

    […] recent article posted on LeighLoueyGung.com asked readers to chose which of two projects they’d like to see […]

  • Jonas
    December 9, 2013 (5:50 am)
    Reply

    Project 2 sounds good to me! The articles of AI always were a good read and help and I could very well imagine them with new topics.

  • Leigh Louey-Gung | You got your wish
    December 23, 2013 (2:54 am)
    Reply

    […] I talked about here, when I closed down the Attraction Institute, it was always to move onto something […]

  • Pablo
    January 23, 2014 (12:41 pm)
    Reply

    Project 1! Me myself I’m trying to start coaching men as I feel I have enough confidence and skills in relationships with others and myself. I’ve read thousands of books on self development of many kind, and more or less I can sense what should I do, but I know I’ll have to learn a huge ammount of things about coaching the hard way, whilst if I had some kind of reference to start doing it I’m sure a lot of logistical questions would be easily answered. Hope to hear about it!


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